Do You Feel The Same Way?

Dear My "FOREVER CRUSH",
Like usual, I’ll write something after we met. Write about my feeling recently

...

Sometimes i feel confused, sometimes i feel my heart fluttering so much. Sometimes i just don’t want to show my feeling in front of my friend. But am i look that happy? Am i look that excited when i’m with you? Is that too obvious?

Sometimes i just wondering if I was just too confident? Is he giving me a bit of feeling and expectation? Does he feel what I feel? Does he know that after all this time, I still think about him and still write about him in one document file? if he feels the same way? Is he likes me, more than just a friend? But why he seemed to give hope to me, but why is he always making me smile when I chat with you. Why after all these years there is still a bit of feeling that appears every time i met him?

I know that he's the type who always kind to people, and i know that there's so many girls who fall in love with you, and I know that you were not intending to "PHPin mereka". So here is my position as a girl who seeks to not assume that it he is "PHPin Gue". He's just being nice to everyone (every girl i think). So, sometimes i just confused, what exactly does he feel about me? 

Sometimes I feel like I really needs a figure like him that makes my heart always comfortable, and always happy to be near him, which can take me, pick me up, and waiting patiently. I need someone who is mature, which not only exist, but always there for me, even we’re appart.

last night before bed, I started thinking about it again, about my fluttering heart after meeting him. This has been more than two years I think. But every time I saw him, i just don’t want to let him go.